Beautiful Without White: An Edith Crawley Modernish AU
by bnfem
Summary: Set in 1950s U.S, we follow Edith Crawley's story for a little while.


Note: Seeing Edith getting less than desirable love interests, I became inspired for this. It is set in 1950s U.S. (if I'm not being historically accurate, I apologize but I'm not good at those types of things, so I hope it doesn't bother readers too much). Enjoy!

Edith Crawley, lay on her bed, crying her eyes out. She could do so freely now (everyone was gone). She didn't understand, she really didn't. She had loved Anthony and thought he loved her. What could have went wrong? She was sad but she wasn't sure if it was because of Anthony; She had wanted to get married, of course. But her main motivation, she thought on second thought, was that she wanted to fit in with her sisters. She was always left out with her sisters. Sybil and Mary both had classic looks, while Edith was always deemed the "ugly sister." Now she was the only sister not to be married. Was she always deemed to be miserable because of this? Was she to be denied her happy ending? In that moment when she had the photographer take the picture of the "three sisters," she had never been so happy. Now it was clear that she would never fit in with sisters.

Edith woke the next morning, feeling the disappointment of yesterday; she was filled with emptiness. She walked to the large dining room and sat down. "Good Morning, Papa," she said as she sat down. He didn't look up from his paper and continued to read. Tom, Sybil's husband, smiled gently at her. She sat down, and helped herself to the juice that was already poured. "Breakfast, my darlings," her mother Cora came and set a beautiful plate of bacon, eggs, and toast in front of the three of them. "Where is Sybil?" she aimed at Tom as she took her seat. "She's resting, till we take off later today," he said and smiled kindly.

"As she should, pregnancy is very tiring," she said.

"Really Cora, is this appropriate for the breakfast table?" her husband said rolling her eyes.

"I believe so, Papa. The only one that is bothered by is it you," Edith said and got a nod of approval from her mother.

Later in the afternoon, Edith joined her mother to bid Tom and Sybil goodbye. Sybil was the only one that really lived far away, and not that far away at that, only about four hours. The rest of the family basically lived right next to each other, in the small little suburb. However her mother considered Sybil and Tom to be a galaxy away; she formed tears as she said goodbye to Sybil. "Edith," Tom pulled her aside after she had said goodbye to her youngest sister. "I'm very sorry about what happened, I know this feels like the end of the world, but it's not." Edith swallowed what she wanted to say, that it was the end—that she didn't know any other way of life. That her life plan was to be a wife, mother, and homemaker. She smiled and waved her sister and brother-in-law off—at the same time waving away the life that her sister had and she could never have.

"C'mon Edith," her mother said, and they linked arms as they made their way up the winding driveway and back home. Her mother was perhaps the one that treated her with the most sympathy for the incident that happened yesterday. Everyone else looked at Edith with pity, but her mother, while there was pity mixed in, there was also a belief that her daughter would overcome.

"Coffee?" her mother asked as Edith sat in the sofa in the sitting room.

"Yes, please," Edith said, she sat there for several minutes before she realized she should go help her mother.

"Ohhh, darling you don't have to come. I've just finished." her mother exclaimed as she saw Edith coming to join her in the kitchen.

"I'll carry mine then," she said and grabbed hers. Edith saw the look of surprise in her mother's face but she continued into the sitting room.

"This is nice, isn't it darling?" Cora asked her daughter.

"I guess so, Mother," she said. All she could think about was the silence that reverberated through the room and the neatness of her mother's appearance. She was so beautiful, dressed in her pink dress and pearls. Her hear was in a neat updo, but one hair hung loose—as a mark of small revolution, Edith thought.

"I know you would rather be in Rome," Cora said, leaning over and squeezing her hand; she squeezed back. Anthony was going to take her everywhere throughout Italy, she teared up slightly and pulled her mind away from the paradise that Anthony could have provided he with.

"Yes I would, where is Mary again?"

"I believe they are in Paris this week, she hasn't phoned yet, of course."

"Of course, the most romantic place in the world it isn't a place for phone calls for mothers or for me," Edith said looking down.

Cora looked sadly at her middle daughter, "So much depresses me about that sentence."

"I...just...I wanted to be married so bad."

"I know, darling, but Anthony is not the end."

Edith scoffed, "you know that's not true, I'm not Mary I don't get offers after offers. I'm not Sybil either."

Her mother moved over close to her on the sofa. "No," Cora said, "you are my dearest Edith," she ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. "I know it's not fair that Sybil and Mary got easy offers, married without a problem, but you have a chance that none of us have."

"What is that, mother? A spinster for life?" Edith said raising her voice and looking hard at her mother.

Her mother got up and looked out the window, seeming to look farther than the suburbs. "No, darling, you get a chance to live."

She wondered what her mother could mean; Edith had never seen a couple happier than her mother and father, even after all these years their love was stronger than ever.

"I know, you are wondering what I could mean. Your father has made me happy: given me three beautiful children, a beautiful house, and happiness. And I like being a housewife and a mother, I can't act like I don't. I love my husband and I love you girls. As my children grow and my time is more up to me, I have been thinking about all the things I haven't done and opportunities I have missed out on. I love to write, I don't know if you know that."

"No, I didn't know, mother. You should write now," Edith said kindly.

"I might," Cora said with a bright smile, perhaps the brightest smile she had ever given. "What I'm saying is that, I know it seems that my life and your sisters are perfect but that we still long for what you have. The road in front of you."

Edith smiled back at her mother, her mother turned around with visible tears in her eyes.

"I don't regret my life, darling, but I don't want you to either—whatever it turns out to be." Edith hugged her mother tight, appreciating her for everything that she was. A great mother, a wife, a homemaker, and a writer. She looked out the window, appreciating where she was and where she could be.


End file.
